Friday, May 20, 2011

Things Our Parents Never Said

"I need to finish ripping these tunes and load them onto Zia's ipod."

Yesterday marked my 5 year anniversary with my current employer, and as a token of the company's appreciation for showing up almost every day and pretending to do work while frantically refreshing espn.com, I got to choose a gift from a catalog.  I went with an mp3 player so we could load it up with lullabies and  reggae to create a peaceful and womb-like atmosphere for Zia.  Although if we were really creating a womb-like atmosphere, we'd have to find a way to pipe in my voice randomly bellowing "Luke.... I am your faaaatttthhhhhher" and have the crib flooded with Franks Hot Sauce.

I was going to write a long diatribe here about how much the mp3 player sucks (it does) but didn't want to sound greedy for complaining about a free gift (it sucks a lot though).  I guess the moral of the story is five years of work from me is equal in value to a mp3 player you could buy at a Dollar Store.  Which looking back, seems about right.

We loaded a bunch of the Rockabye Lullaby songs onto the mp3 player.  These are the ones where they take pop music, remove the words and redo them "lullaby style" which appears to mean "more xylophone".  After one or two listens these are kind of quirky and catchy.  I'm just thinking it will be strange to be rocking Zia to sleep while singing along to "Another One Bites the Dust" from the Queen one or singing about blasting fools from the Wu Tang one.  But in any event, I tend to worry about the strangest things related to Zia's birth.  The mp3 player for whatever reason was really high on my list of things we needed to do.  Now that we are done with that, I can focus my energy on what is clearly the most pressing issue: light switch covers for the room (or perhaps what damage I may be doing to our child if it turns out to be a boy yet I have constantly referred to him as female named Zia..... either way)

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