Thursday, May 5, 2011

Squash and dirty phonecalls

Day one of class was Tuesday, and luckily it was rather uneventful.  Uneventful meaning we did not have to watch any videos of live births.  Unfortunately, that changes next week, when we will have to watch three (3!) live births.  Now, call me unmanly if you will, say I'm a wuss, whatever, but I'm just as Baby Jesus made me, and I know my limits.  I know that being subjected to 3 videos translates into a roughly 105% chance that I will end up puking violently during class next week (+/- 5%).  To avoid this, I thought it would be a good idea to just pretend I got a phone call and have to leave the room when the videos start.  Rachel however, did not share my enthusiasm for this idea, and refuses to budge from her "you WILL be in the room when those videos play" platform.  To be perfectly clear, I asked "so in your book, me throwing up in a roomful of people is preferable to me pretending to be rude and taking a fake phone call and avoiding the vomiting?" To which she immediately replied "Absolutely.  You WILL be in the room during the videos, and if you throw up, well, you'll just have to live with the shame."

So needless to say, if any of my classmates are reading this, sit FAAAAAARRRR away from me on Tuesday.

The rest of class consisted of 1) icebreakers, 2) anatomically correct diagrams that made me giggle, and 3) meditation techniques.  First, icebreakers... turns out I am ok with ice that is unbroken.  The icebreaker here was to interview another couple then introduce them to the rest of the class.  No offense, but I really don't need to know that Connie's favorite movie is "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" or that Ted has an extensive Lego Castle collection.  Although, during icebreakers, we did learn that one guy in the class was clearly a drug dealer.  The poor kid who interviewed him was like "Johnny is.... uh.... self employed..... he.... uh, well, he..... he repackages products for sale.... and anyway, he's self-employed."

For part 2, the diagrams, it went about as expected considering I have the maturity of a 4th grader.

And finally, meditation techniques: could have been helpful, had the instructor NOT used a deep, breathy voice that made the exercise sound like a really confusing obscene phone call. "Go to your special place... open the gate to your special place... thrust your mind into and out of your special place....."   Still, as this was at the end of the class, I was able to relax a little bit.  Rachel, for some unknown reason, found it hard to get comfortable and relax while laying on a hard floor while 30 weeks pregnant.

All in all I give class number one a B+ because the only cervixes (cervices?) I saw were drawings.

And Zia continues to grow, and is now apparently the size of a butternut squash!

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