Friday, April 29, 2011


I have but two things to say about paint. 1) there are far too many options and 2) you might think it would be difficult to get paint on your cornea, but you would be wrong.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Procrastination is a Cruel Mistress

"I haven't even begun to procrastinate yet" used to be my motto, but now with an impending birth on the way, we are finding that procrastination is coming back to bite us.  We have a colors for Zia's room picked out, a crib to be assembled, a dresser to be picked up and a ton of other items for the room, but I have procrastinated for too long and the room remains unpainted, among other things.  Well no more!  I'm going to spend the weekend getting this room painted! (after I watch the NFL draft that is).

Doctors appointments are becoming more frequent, yet remain equally boring.  Last one was Monday, and we were in and out in about three minutes (+ 1 for me for not making the obvious joke here). Zia is more and more active each day, and kicked me in the face last week as I was talking to her, which was awesome.  Rachel's maternity leave plan has been approved, and my paternity leave plan of just not showing up to work also appears to be on track.

And we start the classes Tuesday, and continue every Tuesday until our will to live is completely sucked dry, which should be at least one and a half classes.  But, I'm feeling a bit more confident as I am halfway through what appears to be a good book on parenting (it says to play your kid reggae if they are fussy, and suggests taking naps in your car at work if you are tired.... two pretty airtight plans in my mind).  I just need to get through the second half of the book and not forget the first half.  Daycares are still playing hard to get, so we are starting to get a bit nervous.

Oh well, we can figure something out later.

Saturday, April 16, 2011


Random thoughts caused by sleep deprivation:

I don't trust people that put a "read receipt" notice on their emails at work.

Random stores of America: stop trying to give me a plastic rewards card for my key chain.  Giant Eagle has us all by the throat, and I'll live with the Petsmart one since my dog wants to eat every day, but pretty sure the perks from the Dollar Store Savers Club aren't worth it. 

Pandora radio app: feel free to sell my info to advertisers.  I'm not that exciting and pretty sure I'm immune to all ads anyway from the oversaturation.

I for one hope there is an NFL lock out this year.  We either get replacement players and the Browns might have a chance, or we end up betting on the Lingerie League.  Win win.

I bet Rachel would be mad if she knew how much time I actually spend thinking of ways to get Zia to like me more than her.  Clearly I want Zia to like Rachel too, I just want to be the favorite.  Karl likes me the best and it is awesome.

Watching the music industry shift due to digital, easily-traded media fascinates me.  But I'm really tired of hearing how file sharing is ruining the record industry.  First of all, boo-freaking-hoo. Second of all, it wasn't that long ago that you could get 10 cd's for a penny just by affixing the miniature stamps to the postcard that came in every magazine ever printed.  Is the problem file-sharing, or the decline of the magazine industry?  Hmmm....

(The 10 cds for a penny thing was supposed to be a joke, but now I really am stumped as to how the record industry ever made money in the first place.  Was it the "then buy just one at regular price" part of the deal?  Because I'm pretty sure I never bought a single cd at regular price and I joined every two weeks as a kid.)

Is it still called insomnia if you just wake up way too early and can't go back to sleep?

Thursday, April 14, 2011


On Monday, we officially move into the third trimester, and I have to say, thus far this has been a little too easy.  Scarily so.  To date, we've had no morning sickness, no weird cravings, and no emotional breakdowns.  I was a little nervous about the last one, due primarily to a rousing monologue I received from a parent I know when we first announced the pregnancy:

"Oh you poor, poor sap.  You have no idea what you are in for.  You are probably strutting around thinking 'hey, this is great, my wife being pregnant means no PMS for 9 months!' and let me tell you, that is true.  But unfortunately PMS crazy will be replaced by pregnancy crazy.  And once you experience pregnancy crazy, you'll be BEGGING to go back to PMS crazy. PMS crazy is a kitten, and pregnancy crazy is what would happen if Mke Tyson snorted his body weight in crystal meth then mated with a snow leopard.  So you enjoy your PMS-free 9 months, rookie.  Just remember me when you are getting screamed at because there are too many ice cubes in your wife's drink."

So I really was expecting the worst, but it's been great thus far.  We still have some work to do on Zia's room ("we" being everybody except us), but a lot of progress has been made and we may even be done this weekend if all goes our way.  Most of the furniture has been ordered, and we registered for all the crap we probably don't need, so I think we are in good shape.  The one unknown is which daycare Zia will be attending.  Turns out it is easier to get into Harvard than a quality daycare.  Not sure how to bribe these places (is booze inappropriate?), so if anyone has any suggestions on how to move up the waiting lists, please let me know.

There has also been some jockeying in the God Parent standings, some subtle, some not so subtle.  Just remember, we can be bought!

So we are 2/3rds of way there, and so far its been smooth sailing.  Maybe I am jinxing myself and the 3rd trimester will be a mess, but right now, we are just waiting...

Saturday, April 9, 2011


Despite the 8 - 10 pounds of Laffy Taffy Rachel eats each day, she passed her gestational diabetes test!

Baby room preparations continue, but since the government is not shutting down after all, it's tax time today.  Who is the IRS to tell me when I can claim Zia as a dependent?  Zia was conceived in 2010, so I'm taking the credit.

And dear government, I'm not really much of a hippie, but given the problems in the U.S., maybe we should stop dropping billions of dollars in bombs on random countries when the fancy strikes us. Then perhaps my tax bill will be lower and I can finally upgrade my cell phone.  I'm not a technology guy, but this is what I am currently rocking, so I think the time is now.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Happy Birthday to this guy, maker of my two favorite kids (thus far).

And while I'm here, Rachel had another Dr. appointment yesterday, and sadly, this was the first time she went alone.  So everyone in the waiting room was probably judging and assuming that the bun in the oven was the result of shots and bad decisions rather than love and a bitchin' marriage, and for that, I apologize.  All is proceeding as planned, other than the glucose test being delayed until today because the nurse who draws blood was off yesterday (there's only one?).  Rachel's uterus is the size of a soccer ball, which for some reason kind of freaks me out.  But not as much as that fact that "placenta" means pancake in Latin.  Enjoy your breakfast!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Lyla, Part II

So Lyla was born yesterday a little after 2 pm, and by 8 pm Rachel was holding her and hogging all of the baby time while the new parents sat there and politely acted like they didn't mind Rachel grabbing the kid for a few hours. In between birth and Rachel's smothering, Lyla was passed amongst doctors, nurses, her mom and dad, grandparents and friends, all within the first 6 hours of her life.  Seems like entering the world would be traumatic enough, without being constantly shuffled amongst people with various degrees of baby-holding skill.  To me, it would seem important to let the kid bond with the parents for a while. 

So when Zia arrives we will of course let everyone hold him or her, but a 3 day waiting period seems reasonable, right?

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Contributing to the Overpopulation Problem

Congrats to Drew and Jaclyn on the birth of their daughter Lyla Kathryn today.  Rachel pulled an Aunt Sandy and wouldn't put the kid down.  Security was called.  Quite a scene.